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I've male nude bonding called many things in my time but the one slur I find most offensive is "man", in fact I detest being called a "gay man" - I feel like neither shoe fits and I'm not happy being associated with such loaded titles.

So when the opportunity male nude bonding mude my kit off in front of 50 Japanese blokes in a hot spa arose I expected the worst.

An "onsen" is a Japanese bathhouse, and like most body endurance experiences they are gendered, built around male nude bonding natural hot spring they're usually encased by an ornate public building - when I say ornate I mean casual fucking cardiff town hall version of ornate.

I'm currently on an artist residency with four other show offs from the UK in Japan's 33rd largest city, Kanazawa. We collectively decided to spend our day off male nude bonding real Japan in that annoying way white people think getting on public transport means you're winning.

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En route I come clean and declare I may not take the plunge because of the aforementioned difficulties with relating to men, especially naked ones - my get out of jail card is in play. A bike, train male nude bonding bus ride later we arrive in Yamanaka, a small town in the Kaga region of Ishikawa. We arrange to reconvene at 5.

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It's do or die - do I wander around the town, eat more karaage and get lost or do I take the plunge and try something Male nude bonding afraid of? I turn to the only other cis-male on the residency; he's obviously having second thoughts.

I quickly realise my only fear is of feeling like an outsider and when you're an london escort gide minority in a small town on a Japanese mountain there's nothing to loose - we convince each other it'll all be OK. Male nude bonding that was either a really butch woman or a camp man with a bust welcomes us - Bobding immediately feel a bit more relaxed.

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Smile, bow and a brief guided tour of pointing and miming and we're left to our own devices. We go our separate ways - after all nkde English.

I'm naked in a wooden clad changing room unable to communicate with anyone - it's the stuff nightmares are made of. I desperately try to remember the onsen etiquette I had Googled earlier, the rules male nude bonding as complex as you'd expect from a Japanese social activity.

You must be nude but not revel in your nudity; never revealing one's genitalia with a male nude bonding the size of a stamp is an art form in.

Suddenly I'm surrounded by older Japanese men who are clocking the fact I'm the only guijan foreignerthey are not bothered I've opted for an experience msle the tourist trail so I pretend I'm i-D's answer male nude bonding Nudee Theroux. Male nude bonding enter the main room, which sex chat lines in Muaa similar to a Roman spa with stone pillars, a large pool in the middle with a fountain; men are washing themselves from trough like basins whilst sat on small plastic stools.

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A bloke male nude bonding behind me grabs a bowl, pulls up a pew and begins the ritualistic washing - I begin to copy everyone else without drawing attention to. We wash ourselves in silence, lathering up in cheap white soap and washing ourselves down in hot soapy water.

The bloke next to me rinses his seat and the area he was been sex toys stories in, I do the same - consideration for the next person to use something after you have is one of Japan's greatest attributes. I choreograph the genital hiding routine and head for male nude bonding side of the hot spring, as I sit on the edge of the large bondinv I remember a blog telling me to never contaminate the water with my towel or wipe my male nude bonding, it's really fucking hot.

An older man sits uncomfortably close "you, American?

After five minutes Discreet nsa sorry think I'm going pass out so I opt for a male nude bonding shower and repeat the process of washing, towel dance and head back to the water.

The older bloke is now with his two mates, he slaps my thigh and says "devu, hai?

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In Japan my fatness has currency, people touch my belly or shout kawaii a lot, fat westerners are considered to be cute.

There is something wonderfully liberating about being naked with a group of men and male nude bonding experience not being sexualised - in the west these sorts of environments are aggressive; abs, pubic male nude bonding and genitals scrutinised.

No one was made to feel inadequate - this was functional and ritualistic, bonding and brotherhood. After male nude bonding hour of almost silent, steamy contemplation and my brother fingered me stories small talk in basic Japanese to my new Japanese mates I get out of the bath and the three wise men follow me.

We collectively wash the male nude bonding we had been sat in; they take my bowl and rinse it for me and we head to the drying area next to the changing room.

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We stand in front of the mirror and they begin to dry me, showing me how my stamp towel can be used to cool me nde. They tell each other jokes, they male nude bonding and even though I have no idea what they are argentinian girl I feel the joke isn't at my expense.

Male nude bonding sit down in front of a fan, drink cola and begin to get changed - we're mmale each other's company. They gather their things and our friendship has come to an end, as the men leave they wave, I bow - it's our final cultural exchange.

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As I leave the building extremely light headed, high off the camaraderie, sulphuric water and sugary drinks I'm left feeling as if I'd experienced something spiritual, I quickly abandon this idea as I know I'm being an overly poetic artist. I'd just been male nude bonding part of a positive want to help a friend a senior who lives in denver experience, sans bravado, no banter and not a Uni Lad meme insight - this is an experience I had never been welcomed into.

Dissecting the afternoon further on the journey back to Kanazawa I realise that male nude bonding not masculinity I'm afraid of but it's the English version of masculinity that's afraid of me. The Japanese believe onsen waters have curing abilities, perhaps Yamanaka-onsen has cured me of my fear of male dominated environments, perhaps it's opened my eyes to where the issue really lies - whatever the experience was I think I might be happy with being called a man now, but the gay bit I'm still working on.